Defensiveness is one way that we protect our egos. You might get defensive if someone challenges a cherished belief, criticizes you for something, or poses a threat to how you see yourself and the world....
Of course, we are all wired to protect ourselves — so most of us get defensive at least sometimes. But if you find that either you or your partner is always on guard, waiting on the front-lines to pounce into a defensive mode of communicating, it can be deeply harmful to the relationship. Here are 12 truths about defensiveness — what it is and why it happens — that can help us better understand this self-protecting impulse and especially when it gets precarious. In understanding defensiveness better, we can learn to dismantle it as a habit, and begin engaging more compassionately and openly in our relationships. My favorite is by author Sharon Ellison:
Irresistible how to stop being defensive and argumentative adult videos
What do a medieval fortress, a balled-up porcupine, and a linebacker have in common?...
How we talk and listen to each other defines how marriage goes...
Like all married couples do at one time or another, John and Cindy have fallen into a routine. This one is a little more unhealthy: Whenever Cindy brings up any subject that could be considered even remotely touchy, John goes into full red-alert mode.
Being in an argument or receiving criticism from another person truly sucks. But instead of going straight into attack mode, there are ways to help you stop being defensive while learning how to communicate well with others. I'll be honest: About four years ago, I had no idea how to communicate without being defensive.
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J10f20mh said: I was just like i cant do this, it feels sooo weird having this in my mouth XDHe didnt get mad though!. You intended to have a loving, respectful conversation with your partner. How to stop being defensive and argumentative.